Remember When

"Oh, and Senator, just one more thing: love your suit!"

The New York Times tells the story of how Giuliani dropped out of Battle of the Sexes 2000.

It all started after a campaign event. There, the mayor was stunned to realize that his dominatrix was also his opponent.

His supporters looked on, thinking, (left to right):

(i) "She'll never know what we shared, Rudy.";

(ii) "I will fuck her."; and

(iii) "I need to get some more of those bacon-wrapped whatevers."

Winnie Cooper Wants to Teach You Math the Forgotten Way

Coming August 2007

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Bittersweet Longings/Nostalgia

Here at Cosmodrome, we're getting pretty sick. We've come down recently with a case of wistful longing for the golden, halcyon days of old. For the days when nostalgia was considered a medical disorder to be cured by bedrest, discharge from the army, or, hopefully, leeches.

First stop on our trip down memory lane is the olden days of Life Magazine. Now, Life is still around but it just doesn't carry the same cultural heft it used to when it was filled with hard hitting stories and arresting images. It even had amazing ads that would never be seen today, including this one from the back cover of the first issue. Who wouldn't want to smoke Santa's brand?

And speaking of smoking, where have the days gone where smoking was acceptable? When you could smoke inside and cartoons would shill for cigarette companies. Now they want to edit out our memories to be smoke-free. They've already changed some of our memoires and we just can't let them continue.

But there are still things from our childhood that remain untouched by age, like silly putty or play-doh, which has been canonized in the best way possible. Despite being some sort of strange polymers without a shape or specific purpose that was marketed to kids, they did amazingly well and remained popular for decades. Nickelodeon went on to revitalize that niche market with their own ilk of goops and oozes, originating from the days when sayng "I Don't Know" on You Can't Do That On Television would get you a face full of it. Oh, Alanis.

All this talk of the good ol' days have made us faint. We may have to check ourselves into hospice care for this incurable disease. The only solace we have is the possibility of getting a sponge bath from an sexy, old-fashioned, smoking nurse.

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