Will Reggaeton Find a New Beat?

The weather around Cosmodrome HQ has been getting warmer as of late and that means only one thing: Reggaeton. Apartment windows open up, car windows roll down, and soon all the streets are filled with crashing waves of Latin dance music that had been formerly concealed by winter weather. Don't get us wrong, we're into Reggaeton - it makes us feel all woozy inside. (And I'm embarrassed to admit what it makes my thighs want to do.) But after a quick look at the history of Reggaeton, it seems that it began in the late 90s and only becoming widely known after "Gasolina" rocked TRL and your local disco. Given that reggaeton is past its infancy, we must ask: Why, after being around for so many years it hasn't progressed past the same (unbelievably dope) DUM beDUMbum beat (called Dem Bow) in every one of its songs?

Since June is proclaimed by Cosmodrome to be Reggaeton Awareness Month, we've decided to preview for you the PSA that the Cosmodrome PAC has put together and will hopefully run constantly on every channel across this country.


[Boy carrying boombox walks up to an old turtle]

Boy: Mr. Turtle, how many beats does Reggaeton have?

Turtle: I don't know. I lost my hearing years ago. Why don't you go ask Mr. Owl?

[Boy walks up to an owl in a tree wearing a stupid mortarboard]

Boy: Mr. Owl, how many beats does Reggaeton have?

Owl: Is that your ghettoblaster? Let's find out...

[Boy hands boombox to Owl in tree]

Owl: One...

[Owl switches the radio station on the boombox. DUM beDUMbum beat heard]

OWl: a-Two-hoooooooo....

[Owl switches the radio to a different station. DUM beDUMbum beat heard]

Owl: Tha-ree....

[Owl switches to yet another radio station. DUM beDUMbum beat heard]

Owl: One.

[Owl and Boy look frazzled]

Announcer: Will Reggaeton ever find a new beat? The world may never know.