Democrats Attack!!!

As predicted in Tim Burton's 1996 debacle of a film, terror came to Washington today, as the Democrats took control of Congress. Some notable events of the day:

-Former President and possible future White House resident Bill Clinton turned heads as he commented to the press, "It's a great day for the largest number of women we've ever had in the Congress."

-The first Muslim in Congress, Ralph Ellison, shook hands and patted the shoulder of a man who warned of awful events even worse than those predicted by Mr. Burton (such as more Muslims in Congress). Oh yes, Dennis Kucinich stood by smiling. It's unconfirmed, but this writer is pretty sure that Mr. Kucinich was stoned the whole time.

Read on....

-The House Republicans proposed the same "minority bill of rights" proposed by the Martian (on the right) in the above photo. The proposal didn't go over well with Democrats, and Republicans showed their usual unity in responding:

"We are disappointed," protested Putnam, whose fair skin was covered with a layer of makeup.

"We're clearly disappointed," seconded Roy Blunt (Mo.).

"I'm disappointed, as are some others," added Kay Granger (Tex.).

"I am very disappointed," concurred David Dreier (Calif.)."

Oh, you ask, what happened when Ms. Pelosi proposed the bill last year? Forget about it: "Look, I'm a junior member," young [Patrick] McHenry protested. "I'm not beholden to what former congresses did."


Mr. McHenry is the youngest member of congress and stands at 5'3". (No, neither of those facts are relevant, per se, but still...)

-Perhaps most sadly, no more Macaca:


-And finally, with the Democrats in Congress, SCHOOL IS OUT FOREVER!!!!

Rumor has it that Dick Cheney refused to have this photo be taken unless all black children were as far away from Ms. Pelosi as the frame allowed.

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