"Is any jury going to convict Jack Bauer? I don't think so."

Unsurprisingly, Supreme Court Justice/orgy-participant Antonin Scalia is a big fan of 24. What's a little more surprising is that Scalia thinks the show is real.

At a recent conference in Canada, Scalia took exception to a Canadian Judge's comment, "Thankfully, security agencies in all our countries do not subscribe to the mantra 'What would Jack Bauer do?" Scalia proceeded to throw down:

"Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives... Are you going to convict Jack Bauer?... Say that criminal law is against him? 'You have the right to a jury trial?' Is any jury going to convict Jack Bauer? I don't think so."

Scalia's delusional faith in the decision-making of great men notwithstanding, the trend of mentioning of Jack Bauer in serious political/legal debate is disturbing. A little over a month ago, Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo invoked Bauer to great effect (at least in the audience's opinion) during a debate question over, essentially, a 24 scenario.

While 24 does bring up torture as a discussion point, the show never, as far as I can remember, shows a downside to torture. Those that are not in favor of torture (read: liberals) are seen as pussies because they don't realize that Jack always gets things right. Like so many action heroes before him, he is basically infallible. So yes, Antonin, if you can find someone else that is completely infallible, I'll be happy to excuse them from the law.

All of this makes arguing over Jack Bauer scenarios in the context of a debate on torture akin to invoking John Rambo's work in Vietnam and Afghanistan in a debate over how we could end the Iraq War. Although I shouldn't count that out - perhaps Rambo is this Administration's master plan for withdrawal from Iraq; we'll find out that Rambo IV is a documentary in which Sly Stallone single-handedly wins the war.

Read on...

And as grating as a the constant references to a renegade-superhuman-fictional-agent-of-a-fictional-law-enforcement-unit are, thankfully, most politicians haven't reached the level of Esquire, which writes in its newest issue:

"This is a 9/11 story. Granted it's also a celebrity profile—well, a profile of Angelina Jolie—and so calling it a 9/11 story may sound like a stretch. But that's the point. It's a 9/11 story because it's a celebrity profile—because celebrities and their perceived power are a big part of the strange story of how America responded to the attacks upon it. And no celebrity plays a bigger role in that strange story than Angelina Jolie."

Rudy Giuliani for President of Angelina Jolie!!!