Krasdale Kolumn #2
Name: Krasdale Original Cresent: 8 Hot ‘n Fresh Dinner Rolls
Krasdale crescent rolls are packaged like a pipe bomb of pleasure. Upon opening, however, there was sadly no doughy explosion upon giddily peeling the text away from the tubing. Little things like this are noticed and usually reflect poorly on the product. Carefully the tin exterior was mined away to reveal a rich vein of pastry, which could be further unrolled and divided into 8 scalene triangles (geometry, fools!). What now? Roll them ourselves? Where do you get off, Krasdale? We don't spend our hard earned $1.99 to do all the work ourselves. Oh wait, all tubular crescent roll things have you do that. Our bad.
The poorly rolled crescents are then thrust into the 375 degree oven for an anxious 10 minutes. Will our untrained rolling affect taste? Can i trust that delicious smell? Will they be finished before Project Runway comes on? Shit! But they're out and cooling on the counter before we completely lose it. And, damn the smell was right, they are delicious. Golden browned on the outside, soft and fluffy inside. The perfect vehicle for butter or (we have no shame saying it) margarine. Way better than Krasdale's other pipe bomb product: the bitter, carbonized briquettes they try to pass off as Buttermilk Biscuits. Our initial disappointment was unfounded. We're buying more.
Price: $1.99
Ingredients: Enriched Bleached Flour [Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin, Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Folic Acid], Water, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Soybean And/Or Cottonseed Oil), Sugar, Leavening (Baking Soda, Sodium Acid Pyrophsophate, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Aluminum Sulfate), Contains 2% or Less of Each of the Following: Dextrose, Salt, Potassium Chloride, Wheat Gluten, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Autolyzed Yeast, Yeast, Xanthan Gum, Potassium Sorbate and BHT and TBHQ and Citric Acid (Preservatives), Colored with (Yellow 5, Caramel Color, Yellow 6), Soy Flour. Contains Wheat and Soy.