Lists

10. The Ten Commandments

Why you keep watching: it's a big vanity project about Moses, starring the whitest actor ever as Moses, shown annually in prime time on network television for eternity.

Also:

-The Taglines: "The Greatest Event in Motion Picture History" OR "It would take more than a man to lead the slaves from bondage. It would take a God."

Terrence Malick’s newest film, The New World, has been released twice. The original release – a New York/Los Angeles Academy consideration run – boasted a 135-minute epic. After two weeks, the film was snatched out of theaters so that Malick could snip 20 minutes off the film for a second, wider release. In other words, there are two versions of this film. What’s more, Malick has suggested that the DVD release will include a “director’s cut” version that will be even longer than 135 minutes.

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Honest Abe is a terrible nickname for a 6'4" dude who was possibly the greatest president ever. Bush II got stuck with Dubya, and although some of us may be hoping he'll gradually take on the title of Ole Dumbass Bastard, Dubya might just be it. But as our Commanders in Chief have gradually become celebrity personalities (especially during the yellow journalism heyday), presidential nicknames have gotten better and better. Eat your heart out, Tomkat. You'll never have "Sir" or "Granny" in front of your name in bold.

1. Benjamin Harrison – Kid Gloves
2. Richard Nixon – Tricky Dick
3. John Adams – His Rotundity