Balls

Sports

ELECTRIC WILDERNESS!

It's Bad When You Get Booed Even For the One Thing You're Good At





Deadspin did a great job of summarizing Bush's evening at the ballpark, so I won't bother doing so here.

Kobe Bryant is the NBA's Daniel Plainview

"I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people." - Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood

Kobe Bryant, in a survey asking what other NBA players he'd like to see win the title: "If it ain't us, I don't care."

Below, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd care*:

*Neither of them has won a title.

He Blew it Out Chuck! He Blew it Out Chuck!

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Kenny in full DMX-broadcaster mode. Magic robotically proclaiming "the dunk contest is back!" at frequent, pre-programmed intervals. Daryl Dawkins being Daryl Dawkins. Cheryl Miller being Cheryl Miller.

It was a pretty good dunk contest. But Gerald Green, whose copious marijuana intake has now been fully confirmed, got robbed.

Finally, the behind-the-rim camera comes fully into its own as a cinematic tool.

And: Bigup freedarko with the truly essential cupcake dunk liveblog. Glad to see we're all on the same page re: drunk contest participants/viewers.

Because Having A Championship Trophy Named After You Is Not Enough

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The title of this film has been withheld for your viewing pleasure..

It really is so much better when you don't know til the end what they decided to call it.

What ARE we talking about?

The eternal debate, "practice" or "playoffs," a conversation between Allen Iverson and Jim Mora:

Wise Beyond His Years

Manny Ramirez on the baseball playoffs, where his Red Sox trail 3-1:

"Why should we panic?" he said Wednesday in a rare clubhouse interview. "We've got a great team."

And then, this: "It doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world."

Couldn't agree more, Manny. Couldn't agree more. (Incidentally, Manny might make a fantastic little league coach.)

Of course, this is the same guy who took the time to pose after hitting a home run that brought his team all the way back from trailing 7-2 to... trailing 7-3.

... and the same guy who once wore MP3-playing sunglasses in the outfield.

... and the same guy who regularly disappears into the scoreboard during the middle of the game [to get high?].

Few athletes garner our respect. This one does. The Red Sox should actually let him work from home.

Unbelievable

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"Skateboarder" Rodney Mullen defies it all.

The Department of State Embraces YouTube, Taps Baseball Player to Clean Up U.S. Image Abroad

So the State Department has essentially created a new position called "Director of Digital Media" to hire a former producer of Bill O'Reilly to upload "viral" propaganda videos to YouTube. This one could be called "High Tea with Condi Rice, Karen Hughes, and Hall of Fame baseball player Cal Ripken, Jr.," whom the Bush Administration has tapped to salvage America's image abroad. A few words of caution: this video is a train wreck.

Some classic lines:

"Well, Mr. Ripken -- let's call a spade a spade." -- State Dept. Director of Digital Media Heath Kern (Who Is Heath Kern?)

"Sports is a universal language, kind of like the arts." -- Sec. of State Condi Rice

"Hmmmm... that's a TOUGH QUESTION!" -- Cal Ripken, Jr.

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