Film

Love on a real train

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I Have Had It With These Monkey-Fighting Snakes on This Monday-Friday Plane

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Best TV edit of swearwords I have seen.

GUNS! STABBINGS! EXPLOSIONS! NIC CAGE! (pt deux)

Our love of Nic Cage is historic.
Epic in scope.
Deep in depth.

We once chronicled an action movie marathon and posted the results of that day. Yet there was one stat that never sat right with us:

nic cages: 0

So tropical storms were braved.
Scores were tallied.^
And an instant-classic-remade-from-a-less-than-decade-old-Thai-classic was born.

We present to you the statistics from Bangkok Dangerous:

KILLS: 42-47*
EXPLOSIONS: 5
STABBINGS: 3
FANCY GUNPLAY: 2
DISMEMBERINGS: 2
GLASS BREAKING: 8
FAST-FORWARDS: 8
SLO-MO’S: 19
360 SHOTS: 4
NICOLAS CAGE LEERING AT MALES: 5
NICOLAS CAGE LEERING AT FEMALES: I counted up to 20 then gave up (mainly due to cage’s love interest being mute)
RIDICULOUS & INAPPROPRIATE MAKING OUT: none
INTERNATIONAL LOCALES: 4
EATING WHILE CONDUCTING “BAD MAN” BUSINESS: 4
ELEPHANTS: 3
ASSASSINATION-SUICIDES: 1
METACRITIC RATING: 19

^ notes on methodology: Kills were sharpied on my shirt while Miguel diligently moleskine'd detailed notes.
* Kill counts are discrepant as Miguel got 42 and I got 47, which included a few kills tallied during a quick flashback of previously unmentioned kills and a final mark for the deaf-Thai-pharmacist love story which killed my heart (in a good way).

Synergy!: Miguel's Tumblr and the Playlist via Alex


"Again!...Again!....Again!....Again!..... Again!.... That was your first lesson."

SIMULACRA NOW

What has happened to cinema over the last thirty years is a mystery so surreal that it can only be understood in flashes and starts. The Mad TV movie mash-ups, and later those from YouTube, have probably come the closest – like ideas that come to you in your dreams, stay on the tip of your tongue as you wake up, only to be forgotten again as you buy your next movie ticket.

Those of us who participate in “the business” in some capacity – whether as a critic, a distributor, a frequent IMDB user, or the writer/director/star of Tropic Thunder – all participate in the same echo chamber of clichéd rhetoric – Why Can’t They Make Movies Like They Did in the 30s/50s/70s?; All You Need Is A Good Story; Film Is A Visual Medium; Write What You Know; Don’t Forget The Audience. These are the prescriptions we toss around for a perceived decline in the quality of cinema, even though they often contradict one another and probably exacerbate the symptoms. No one and no film, however, has been able to fully mold these contradictory myths into one fixed, coherent expression. Until now.

Dear George Lucas,

Serial Filmmaking


Michael Haneke has brought his maniacal art horror to the United States, remaking his 1997 film Funny Games for American audiences. What he has given us, however, is not your average Hollywood remake – snipped and streamlined for the more delicate stateside viewer, much as Ron Howard’s imminent remake of Haneke’s 2003 Caché is likely to be. No, this is what they call a shot-for-shot remake – a genre that, to my knowledge, only includes one other film, Gus Van Sant’s Psycho.

Critics have often compared Haneke to Hitchcock, or at least cited him as a reference point. This does seem an apt comparison, especially for Funny Games. The two filmmakers share a common instinct: to deconstruct and parody the family, often by putting a murderer in their midst (usually a stand-in for the filmmaker), and softly – or not so softly – suggesting a question: Who is more morally repulsive – the transgressive murderer or the repressive family members?

Jack endorses Hillary, awaits Pro-Obama video response

This is so ripe for someone to throw together a pro-Obama version.

Nic Cage SNUBBED!

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This year's Academy Awards were another boring, turgid affair. Due to the writer's strike the Academy churned out long meaningless montages to fill time (needed?) and pat themselves on the back. Yet despite the amount of footage shown many people got snubbed, including Whoopi and Brad Renfro (We Are All Brad Renfro!).

Cosmodrome prides itself on supporting Nic Cage whenever possible, so we feel it our duty to bring to the attention of the Academy another shameless snubbing that they almost got away with.
Here is an unfunny Jerry Seinfeld bee-realted/Bee Movie tie-in montage [couldn't find the original, so you'll have to ff to the end] and below is a scene that would have fit in perfectly, spiced up the show, and restored our faith in the Oscars.

I'm never watching again.

There Will Be Vigorous Violining and Conducting

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WTF CNN

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