Bloggish

Cashing In On Nostalgia

Does history have a price? Is it quantifiable? Because it’s becoming quite costly lately to have memories. Nostalgia’s a huge industry and there’s always been more than enough memorabilia and commemorative plates. I guess it’s nothing new, but never before have so many old, expensive things spoken so directly to me.

First, this is the year of getting the band back together and tempting me with festival appearances and high ticket prices. I even have to buy a new pair of jeans after ripping several holes in my last pair in anticipation of the Van Halen reunion.

Then there are cars. I really can’t decide between Knight Rider’s K.I.T.T., the original Batmobile, or even the Ghostbuster’s Ecto 1. At this point in my life I don’t actually need a car. I just need these cars.

Or, I could live out the fantasies I had when I was 6 years old: own every single Nintendo game ever made.

Ultimately, if I were to live well above my means and rashly spend my entire yearly income on only one item, it would be this Holy Grail, a thing I’ve searched years for, a piece of the glowing rock: The Aggro Crag.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

The E-Life, Jan. 22-26: Let's Get the Old Band Back Together!

Monday, Jan. 22

Let's Get the Old Band Back Together
It was widely reported that Sting and The Police will reunite and perform at Coachella. Sting recalled, "You know, I used to be kind of cool once."

Also rumored to be reuniting for Coachella are Rage Against the Machine, the Happy Mondays, and The Jesus and Mary Chain. Led Zeppelin is considering reuniting, again. Van Halen is reconciling with David Lee Roth. And perhaps most importantly, Chinese Democracy may finally see the light of day.

Speaking of Coachella, Brooklyn Vegan posted this great set by Daft Punk from the festival a few years back.

The Lord Speaketh
In Monday's edition of the Federal Register, President Bush announced that Sunday was National Sanctity of Human Life Day. Mind you, this means the sanctity of aborted fetuses, not real dying people in one of them "loser" countries.

Read more...

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Government Absurdity of the Day

In addition to being the day of the NFL conference championships, Sunday, January 21, 2007 was National Sanctity of Human Life Day, 2007. It was proclaimed so by our lord President.

Directly from today's edition of the Federal Register (keep in mind that, as we learned in Season 3 of The West Wing, getting a Presidential proclamation published in the Federal Register is not all that easy):

National Sanctity of Human Life Day, 2007

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

America was founded on the principle that we are all endowed by our Creator [This is a US government publication?!?!?!] with the right to life and that every individual has dignity and worth. National Sanctity of Human Life Day helps foster a culture of life and reinforces our commitment to building a compassionate society that respects the value of every human being.

Read on...

Cosmodrome Categories: 

The "Slam" Count, Week One Wrap-Up

DAYS FOUR AND FIVE: "Sometimes, Getting Dunked on is Great"

Four out of five isn't bad. And while Friday's IMDB News did not contain a "slam," Thursday's slam was the stuff of which tabloid dreams are made:

Cruz Slams Gay Rumors

While Wednesday's analysis provided dissentary on tabloids, I take some of it back. Just reading about a possible lesbian relationship between Salma Hayek and Penlope Cruz makes it all worth while. Unfortunately the actual photo, and Ms. Cruz's denial of their relationship, is much less exciting than the rumor itself. In fact, Ms. Cruz's "slam" is only "No comment on that." (See the video here. It's not worth watching. Trust me.)

After a week's analysis, what has been learned? Not a whole lot:

1. IMDB News writers have a limited vocabulary.

2. Tabloids write about some seriously dumb shit. Are you dumb for reading it? Yes. Are they smart for making easy money off your (and my) dumb asses? "Smart" isn't the right word. Perhaps "capitalistic" is the right one.

3. Sometimes, getting dunked on is great. The 7'2" tall Frenchman from this video certainly remembers being so spectacularly slammed. And I will always remember the day a Penelope Cruz-Salma Hayek romance was slammed.

4. As for me, I'll still be reading IMDB news, feeling like an idiot while doing so, and waiting for the day my dream headline, "Spears Slams Costanza Rumors," appears. (It came oh-so-close once.)

5. I have left unexplained the new wave of tabloid-bashing-but-really-loving contingent of which I am a part. The Onion AV Club started a mostly obnoxious blog about it (now that is dissentary), and even the Washington Post is in on the act. My take: it's no better, and perhaps worse, than those who take tabloids seriously. (And yes, those people exist.) Yes, I'm a bigot: my hatred is imposed on people like myself.

I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Democrats Attack!!!

As predicted in Tim Burton's 1996 debacle of a film, terror came to Washington today, as the Democrats took control of Congress. Some notable events of the day:

-Former President and possible future White House resident Bill Clinton turned heads as he commented to the press, "It's a great day for the largest number of women we've ever had in the Congress."

-The first Muslim in Congress, Ralph Ellison, shook hands and patted the shoulder of a man who warned of awful events even worse than those predicted by Mr. Burton (such as more Muslims in Congress). Oh yes, Dennis Kucinich stood by smiling. It's unconfirmed, but this writer is pretty sure that Mr. Kucinich was stoned the whole time.

Read on....

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Ice T's Wife or the Polar Bear: Which One Posed Ass-Up First?

YOU TELL ME.

The New York Times recently ran a story about how the Bush Admin... global warming, yada, yada, yada, polar bears are cute.

...but they're motherfucking ferocious. As Wikipedia notes (emphasis added), "The polar bear is the most carnivorous member of the bear family."

As for Ice T's wife CoCo (aka Nicole Austin), some of what Wikipedia says about polar bears just might apply to her too:

"[CoCo is] enormous, aggressive, curious, and extremely dangerous to humans. It is best to remember that [CoCo], unlike most other [humans], [is] often barely habituated to people and will quickly size up any animal [she] encounter[s] as potential prey. [CoCo] should never be approached and if [she] is spotted, it is best to retreat slowly on foot, preferably to an indoor location, or move away in a vehicle. [Beware, especially, if you find the creature in a situation where her ass extends halfway up her back.]"

The two creatures are both currently surrounded by melting ice.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Gimme Dat COCAÍNA

COCAINA94% of all Spanish Euros carry trace amounts of cocaine, says a Spanish study, with approximately 13 percent of the one billion Euro notes in circulation showing evidence of being used to directly snort the drug.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Everybody RAGS UP RAGS UP (aka Music to Fly By)

Machel MontanoWhen I first heard this soca track, I didn't think much of it. It was being hyped through the stratosphere by some folk on a messageboard I read, but I didn't instantly feel it. But of all the songs that have grown on me lately, this one has probably come the farthest.

Also, it's airplane time. And I can't really imagine a better song exists to be jamming when those engines kick up for takeoff. Damn.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Giada is an Isz

I just got finished watching the spectacularly less-than-awesome Iron Chef battle between Rachel Ray and Giada de Laurentiis.

Cosmodrome Categories: 

The Suckfest Begins The Aural Assault On Your Eyes

About six years ago I started the Indie Rock Suckfest, a small and scrappy but apocalyptically powerful radio show, that was originally sandwiched between the Classic Country and Gospel shows on Sunday mornings from 6-8 am. Needless to say, no one listened when it began. Over the years the line-up swelled (including several on the Cosmodrome staff), the hours got better, listenership increased, and its place in history was cemented. After stepping down the reigns were left in the rockingly capable and never culpable hands of several, including Zeke Sulkes and Josherman. Finally, the Suckfest has proven itself well worthy of a documentary. And I have to say: it's about damn time.
Suckfest 4 Lyfe !!!!:

The Indie Rock Suckfest incinerates your eardrums Monday night/Tuesday mornings 2:00-3:30 AM central.
89.3 FM Evanston - Chicago
www.wnur.org

Cosmodrome Categories: 

Pages

Subscribe to RSS - Bloggish