Bob Roberts


Contextualizing the War on Grammar

For those of you disturbed by President Bush's latest strike in the War on Grammar ("childrens do learn"), or for those of you concerned about the state of education in the United States, this video provides some context:

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Another Reason Not To Vote For Him: Giuliani Does a GREAT Billy Crystal Impersonation

[Via NY Times]

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Desperation Rings

Another Monday morning, another plaintive 5AM email from Barack. Tried to break up with him this weekend but I just couldn't do it.

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Photo Caption Contest II

"Biden to Petraeus: General, Turn Those Photographers Around."

[Photo via The New York Times.]

And here's Photo Caption Contest, Part I.

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Jesus as Next Attorney General?

"Ladies and gentlemen, I speak to you from high above the skies of Waco [TX], where I have left my vacation in order to enlist the Almighty to serve as Attorney General for the remainder of my Presidency..."

[Photo via The New York Times]

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The Department of State Embraces YouTube, Taps Baseball Player to Clean Up U.S. Image Abroad

So the State Department has essentially created a new position called "Director of Digital Media" to hire a former producer of Bill O'Reilly to upload "viral" propaganda videos to YouTube. This one could be called "High Tea with Condi Rice, Karen Hughes, and Hall of Fame baseball player Cal Ripken, Jr.," whom the Bush Administration has tapped to salvage America's image abroad. A few words of caution: this video is a train wreck.

Some classic lines:

"Well, Mr. Ripken -- let's call a spade a spade." -- State Dept. Director of Digital Media Heath Kern (Who Is Heath Kern?)

"Sports is a universal language, kind of like the arts." -- Sec. of State Condi Rice

"Hmmmm... that's a TOUGH QUESTION!" -- Cal Ripken, Jr.

Somebody please shoot this man in the face. Don't kill him. Just shoot him in the face.


What impresses me most about this video is how quickly and easily the words just roll right off his tongue, almost like he actually believes what he is saying.

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Mayor Bloomberg Gets A Lift to Express Train, Media Sprints to the "Invetigation" Room

This morning, we learned that the New York Times spent upwards of five weeks
stalking NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg outside his Upper East Side home in an effort to learn whether he really does in fact take the subway to work every day.

Apparently he doesn't. At least he sort of doesn't. According to the report, the Mayor actually has two large ethanol powered Suburbans idling outside his home, which then drive him past two 6 (local) stations and then drop him off at the 59th Street express.

Joementum Running the Show

I refuse to believe this story from NewsMax.

I had not heard of this publication, which looks like some right-wing nonsense, but they also ran a cover story last year: Star Player for 2008:
George Allen’s Common Sense

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'For all the latest medical poop, Call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop. Poo poo pa-doop.'

Former Surgeon Gen. Dick Carmona testified in Congress yesterday about the various ways the Bush administration tried to influence his reports and stance on policies.

Stem cells? nope.
Contraceptives? nope.
Global warming? nope.
Secondhand smoke? nope.
Global health? nope.
Prison health? nope.

Even when invited to the Special Olympics he was told not to go, partly because the Kennedys were involved and partly because he was told: ‘Why would you want to help those people?’
He was also instructed to use "glowing references" to the administration and to use President Bush's name at least 3 times per page.

Testifying with him about political v. medical showdowns were former surgeon generals David Satcher and everyone's favorite beardo C. Everett Koop-- both of which agreed Carmona faced the most political interference of any previous general.

Still no word from Joycelyn "Me-Time" Elders on her political woes.

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