Well, not really. But here's a stash of photos of what your life could have looked like had you graduated from Burbank High in 1980.

Iran is launching a space program.

Previously: Kicking Ass in Space, Master of Space - Second Edition

About a billion (literally) states will hold primary or caucus-like things tomorrow. We'll be there.

Our endorsement?

What? That's not Obama? He really should grow a mustache.

We'll support him anyway. I guess. But if he grows that mustache, we'll be a little more excited about it.

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10:45 a.m. EST: Bill Clinton has made his predictions. Bill left out about half the states; and included Idaho twice. And where the fuck is Samoa? And the motherfucking Democrats Abroad? -B

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I love this song even more knowing that the chorus comes straight out of Batman.

Jacko finally unveils (literally) his children in Vegas: Paris, Prince Michael I, and Prince Michael II (aka "Blanket")

Meanwhile, Michael the Original continues to look like a fashionable sherpa. Perhaps this will be the design for his robotic, laser-firing statue.

It really is so much better when you don't know til the end what they decided to call it.

This is just sick. But watch it, and wait for the punchline.

5 out of 5!!!

Ok, so maybe I'm not really "liveblogging" Jury Duty. It would have been the perfect thing to liveblog, especially because the whole liveblog genre is exclusive to uncanny things that are both too horrible to watch and too horrible not to. (See: Moment of Truth, Basic Instinct 2, or the presidential debates.)